


The 2016 F1 Calendar

by f1fan (lifeschoices)



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: 2016 F1 Calendar, Banter, Gen, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeschoices/pseuds/f1fan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Or, what's wrong with it.)</p><p>The drivers have just been given the proposed 2016 calendar. They are not happy and try to discuss the flaws with the calendar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 2016 F1 Calendar

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired slightly by my own feelings about the calendar. I don't like it at all - it's so crammed and I don't know why people think that adding an extra race will save money...
> 
> This is also my very first work, ever, so I'm sorry if you hate it, because it's probably awful compared to everything else I read on here.

In silence, each one of the drivers scanned their eyes over what would almost certainly be their racing calendar for next year. Well, nearly everyone. Kimi had already fallen asleep and Sebastian was unsuccessfully trying to wake him up.

After everyone had finished reading the scrap of paper, there was another period of silence. No-one quite knew how to break it – after all, it wasn’t every day that they were thrown into a room to discuss something as trivial as a calendar.

It was soon broken by the mutterings of Romain Grosjean, feverishly recounting to see if, indeed, his previous score of _21 races_ was somehow right:

“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq…”

“Yes, genius, there’s twenty one of them,” said Lewis, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, so you can read, then?” asked Felipe Massa. “Forgive me, I thought otherwise, since it seems you couldn’t read a dress code for Wimbledon.” Everyone else sniggered at this, the image of Lewis’ floral shirt firmly imprinted on their minds. Lewis simply scowled at them.

“…vingt, vingt et un!” exclaimed Romain. “What the ‘ell is this? Twenty one races? Are they trying to kill us or something?”

“Jeez, calm down. Here, eat some cake,” Jenson offered over some of his red velvet cake.

“You think I want your stupid cake? Not everything can be solved by cake, idiot!” Romain huffed.

“There seem to be loads of back to back races as well,” piped up Marcus. He scanned the prospective dates slowly. Then he, too, started counting them in pairs. “SEVEN SETS? How is that even possible?”

Next to him, Felipe Nasr was fighting to overcome to urge to smash his teammate’s head on the table. “They add an extra race, and start the season in April, what were you expecting?”

“Oh, I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy going from Bahrain to Russia in a week,” Fernando pointed out.

“I’m surprised we’re not running into December,” Nico Hulkenberg said.

“No-one cares about that!” the other Nico replied. “What I care about is why I’m only getting a three week summer break!” This revelation caused an uproar within the room:

“What?”  
“Three weeks?”  
“It’s our summer!”

This continued for several minutes, because as all the drivers were pointing out, three weeks simply wasn’t enough, and they had that already between two normal races in a season, and there was simply no way they were going to accept it.

“QUIET!” Jenson roared. “Ok, so we’re not happy about the summer break, the amount of back to back races, the amount of races, what else?”

“Why the hell is the race in Azerbaijan the European Grand Prix? It’s not even in Europe!” Max exclaimed.

“They take part in Eurovision, don’t they?” Seb asked.

“Dude, Australia took part in Eurovision this year,” Daniel replied.

“And Israel take part in it every year,” Daniil added.

“My point exactly.”

“Hey, why does Vettel get to race on his birthday? That’s not fair!” whined Carlos. The rest of the room were soon humming in agreement.

“Guys, we’ll be in Austria. The only present the organisers will give me is lederhosen,” Seb deadpanned, though he did in fact look rather happy that there was to be a race on his birthday.

“At least the finals at Wimbledon fall in between Austria and Azerbaijan,” said Lewis.

“What makes you think they’ll bother to invite you again?” Pastor snarled.

“GENTLEMEN!” Jenson interrupted. “Now we must see whether we must take this to the FIA. All those in favour of the proposed calendar for next year?

Only four raised their hands. Sebastian would do anything to race on his birthday, Lewis had to get into the Royal Box, and Jenson didn’t care either way. He just wanted this over as soon as possible so he could finish his cake. It was later found out that Seb had surreptitiously raised Kimi’s hand (as said person was somehow still sleeping) in an attempt to gain a majority.

“And all those against?” Jenson asked. All the rest raised their hands. “The nays have it, the nays have it. Now you guys can try and raise it with Bernie, since you’re the ones who are unhappy. Cheerio!” And with that, he left, along with his cake.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! I may or may not make a sequel depicting what happens when they go to Bernie. Comments appreciated, whether you liked it or hated it. Thank you!
> 
> (EDIT: So the drivers at Thursday's Press Conference in Hungary were asked whether they were happy with the new calendar and they all said they were up for it and it was their job. Oh well. I suppose there must be one of them who doesn't like it. This represents him. :p)


End file.
